Friday, December 05, 2008

Party, Party! Big Party!

So uh, "recently" I attended a birthday party in West Hollywood. I have a friend who invited me out and she told me she was "on the list". Since the party was at a gay bar, naturally she wanted me to go with her. I explained to her that I had friends visiting from out of town but then she said she could take in as many as she pleased.

Another friend sent me a text asking what I was doing that night and I said, "Going out" and he said, "Me too."

He asked where and I said, "West Hollywood" and he said, "Me too."

Then he asked if I wanted to meet up later and he told me where he was going to be and I said, "Me too!"

Then the friend who was supposed to take us out and get us in "on the list" called and canceled on me. So I texted my other friend and said, "Get my name on the list too."

See, this is how it works in Los Angeles. No one wants to appear so lame as to wait in line. You must be "on the list". Even if you have to pay at the door. You can not wait in line. Probably because you didn't bring a coat and it might be cold, but mostly because it proves that you are better than everyone who has to wait in the line. You are important.

First things first.
Must practice Charlie's Angels poses at home to test the outfits.

So Robb and I go out and we are NOT "on the list". (GASP!) I text my friend who was supposed to add us and he doesn't respond. I tell the doorman my dilemma. That I was supposed to be "on the list" (he checks again, not there) because I was first coming out with my friend Stormy but then she canceled and then my other friend failed at his job. And the doorman said, "Stormy? I've got that name on the list." I puffed out my chest and I said, "I know my boobs aren't nearly the same size, but may I be Stormy for the purpose of entering the party?" and he said, "Uh, sure."

And so began an interesting evening...

You entry through this balloon replica of a vagina....

He who did NOT get us on the list.

Not every photo out at night can be a winner for each person...

This would be why those other "holding it together" photos are so important to me.
This is how I look when I forget to pose.

I'm confused... what are we here celebrating? Birthday or booze?

Ah yes, the birthday Gurl.

This place is crowded!

I am a dance floor ninja!

End of the night... Pizza!

Once again, we took a taxi there and back. And though booze was free within the birthday party zone, to get anywhere near the bottle service on the table or to get the waiter to return to you with a cocktail was an exercise in futility. Unbelievable, free booze at a party in a bar and we paid for all our drinks. (sigh) I'm getting too experienced to fight for free booze.


Sherri said...

You are the epitome of wonderful tonight. Also much more brave than I am. I am SO MUCH not a party person. Crowds make me nervous and if I'm going to buy my drinks, I'll drink at home where I know that's REALLY top shelf.

dit said...

What a great story. You have more fun Jim. Enjoy.

Michael Guy said...

Okay. First I lost it on 'balloon vagina' and, second -- that hair didn't just happen! And thirdly my eagle eye detects yet another skull motif via 'oh, this thing?' casual loose tie.

Le sigh. I could never keep up with you LA boys.

Rachel said...

Oh. My. I'm still not past the balloon vagina.