So quiet around here...

Sometimes this blog is quiet because I'm busy. Sometimes I don't have anything to say. And sometimes I just don't want to talk about it.

Though I have been busy, the over arching plot of my life right now is something I just don't want to talk about. But I will.
Lola isn't well. There I wrote it, and I also started to cry.

At the end of August we took her in to see the vet because she had a cough that would not go away. And he told us it was congestive heart failure. What I didn't recall was that he had told us she had this last December. But she was okay last December. Just a "head's up" of something looming ahead.

He wanted to keep her overnight because he thought she may not make it through the night and Lyle's response was "Hell no, if she's gonna die tonight, she gonna die in my arms." So she came home.

About 6 years ago, Lola went through MAJOR medical issues involving her kidneys. She was a goner for certain and instead of buying a house, we put that house down payment into Lola. She survived, but only has about 20% use of her kidneys. This current health issue she has can be somewhat treated, but the treatment usually places a strain on the dog's kidneys, of which she doesn't really have any room to put a strain. But we are doing that anyway. AS our vet says, we are going to walk a very fine razor's edge.

Our vet specialist who treated her for the kidney issue loves our little Lola. After he spent that summer with her off and on, six years ago, he adopted his own female Dalmatian. It is sad to see him have to tell us all these diagnoses.

As he sent us home a month ago, he gave us a new pill regime for Lola and said we'd have maybe a week, maybe less. "Then again", he said, "she outwitted me once before, let's hope she will again."

And she has. She gets around 8 pills, twice a day, with another booster pill in the middle of the day.

My new mantra is 9-3-9 because those are the times she gets her pills. Wherever I am in my day or the city, I have to be home at 9-3-9 or have someone else cover that shift. The regime is working. She's still here.

I tend to be the glass half full kind of guy and fully expect her to be with us next Spring. Then she will have a bad night and cough and cough and cough. This is when I want to hold her and tell her it's okay, for her to go if it's too much pain for her. She coughs because there is fluid in her lungs. The fluid is there because her heart isn't pumping enough to get the fluid out. You can feel the entire house take a deep breath and hold it until she is done coughing. (Note to self: keep breathing)

We've canceled some travel, we've been ordering in food instead of going out. We're just hanging out with our dogs and appreciating what we've got. But it takes a toll and I guess that's why I haven't sat down here and told anyone. We're sad. But we're mindful of how very lucky we've been to have had her this long.

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I re-read this today and think it comes off as perhaps too maudlin. Yes, we're are devasted by what we have found out, but she is still the same dog now with a bonus cough and pill needs. She is still full of energy, begs for food ALL DAY, pulls on her nightly walk and spoons on afternoon naps. The vet did say things could happen "suddenly" but I know this dog, and she is in great spirits. Since she gets extra pills at night, we've started giving her a "third meal" to help absorb those pills. The joke around here goes, now that she is finally getting all the food she wants, she is NEVER going to leave!