Monday, December 17, 2007

A Christmas preview teaser

The theme around the mantle this year is icicle winter white.
It all tends to get a little involved.

These are the groupings on the side.
The white vase is normally by the door, the silver champagne bucket lives in the china closet.
The trophy hangs around the house and that large disco ball used to hang in my office (spinning with a pin spot, thank you).

This is a portion of the lower left mantle.
It's all in the details isn't it?

And then to be fair, I think I must add this.

This is the e-mail I sent off to Lyle today. This is what is going on behind the facade of a perfect Christmas.

I seem to have trouble conveying to you in a rational fashion that I am having a a slight panic meltdown. I have to be the one to fix it because it’s all internal.

I’m freaked out that my sister sent me three packages of napkins and now I have to send something to her. Then if I send something to her, I have to send something to my brothers. Oh, and this gift we got for my parents has to somehow get to Seattle before the weekend. I AM FREAKING OUT.

I want to be perfect and have everyone know that I care, so since I was looking at getting a plant delivered to my sister, I looked in getting that for friends of ours as well . Wow, an ugly poinsettia in an uglier basket delivered by FTD suddenly becomes $50 and you and I both know that even a huge one from Trader Joe’s is only $20 at the most.

Then someone told me that we should have planned better and mailed our gifts because their luggage is full and there is no room for a gift for your parents. So I took the bait, had a coniption fit her and made her cry. See, I don’t need any of your help to fix it, I am fixing it all just fine, all by myself.

I’m not going to the gym tonight. I am going to eat chocolate.

I had to math earlier. I had to shut the door to do math.

Perhaps all this is why I hate this gift for your parents. It’s not perfect. Nothing is ever perfect. Nothing will ever be good enough. I don’t want any gifts from people because they are all crap. Everything in the world is crap. I hate Christmas and am going to go rip it all down now.

After I write this, I am going to bed with the dogs for a sanity nap.

I’m planning cocktails and tv tonight and a cab ride home for any and all guests. Or, if need be, Xanax will be tonight’s appetizer.

What?! It’s only the 17th? Oh my God, I’m three days early this year!!!


Christopher said...

WOW!!...lurve the mantle! What an eye you have!

Jules said...

I love silver. I love snowmen... this all wins approval from me!

Lewis said...

I am in LUSTwith the white and silver mantle furnishings.....absolutely Christmasy...and wintery!
As for the Christmas season: KEEP IT SIMPLE, KEEP IT REAL. I don't do complicated or whirlwinds.

Rachel said...


deb said...

If you send us a gift in return for those stupid, but absolutely fabulous, napkins you will be in big trouble mister. Now if you were planning a lavish gift all along, feel free to continue. But I think not, but because that's not what we do. Those were a "saw these and thought of you, boy did I" that just happened to be around Christmas time. I could have sent you a pound of cookies, but sounds like you have that covered. Whatever you do, don't send Gary something because then I'll have to get him something......
Love, Deb

Jim said...

I promise, I promise. No gifts, no plants, nothing will be sent out. I don't want to start anything that will surely end badly...