It's easy to be a rock star when you are on tour. You blow into town and everyone is excited to see you then you leave before you can do anything to disappoint people. You make your good impression, you've got loads of energy and no one is the wiser on what it takes to create the spectacle of your performance or how much down time you may need before your next performance.
That's how I am when I go home to visit. I'm not implying that my visit is a performance. I am genuinely excited to be there and see everyone. But as I mentioned to my mother, I can paint and decorate a room and have lunch and dinner with different people every day and night because I know that my time is limited. My parents have seen me in my day to day life and know that a person (me in particular) has boring bits, sad bits, quiet bits, angry bits and all sorts of other bits that make a whole person. But that's not how I am when I go to see them. At their home I am a rock star.
At times during my last my visit with both my family and Lyle's family I felt a little guilty that we lived so far away and didn't get to spend more time with them. On the flight home I wondered if we should live closer.
Should I give up living in the sunshine and move to the cold wet North? I did it before and it wounded me. Seriously, those people you hear about with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) are absolutely me. So what use would I be if I did live closer?
Than I remembered something my friend Rachel had told me.
It's better to have 100% of me for 10% of the time, than 10% of me 100% of the time.
For now, that's what I'll be giving. ROCK ON!