Ah Facebook, will we ever need a class reunion anymore?More and more I find myself being found by people I went to school with via Facebook. I signed up for Facebook to be political. Last Fall after Prop 8 passed there were protests and massive rallies. All of them organized by someone on Facebook, you had to have an account to view the info, so I reluctantly signed away my life.
I got hooked and was surprised when I suddenly had 40 friends. FORTY! Wow, I would have told you I didn't even know forty people. Then along came someone I went to school with (yes, I went to school) and they friended me, and then their friends friended me and so on and so on...
I made it a policy to not seek people out from my past. I've moved, I've changed, I've evolved and though I love my life, some people from my past...? Uh, why stir shit up?
But people found me. I am very open about who I am. And if they didn't like it, well, you came looking for me so tough shit. (Oh my god, I just used the word shit twice. I never swear on this blog!) There are ways to partition your friends in Facebook where you can shield information from some people. Me and my life? Kind of an open book (you get that way with a blog) and I don't have that kind of energy to learn how to do all that stuff. You pick me as a Facebook friend, you get all of it, not just some of it.
People surprised me. "I see your status as Married. I'm gonna take a guess that Lyle's the lucky guy. Congratulations you look so happy!" came the opening of one email from someone I used to go to church with (that's right, I've been to church).
Then the class president from high school found me. Nice guy. Not someone I hung out with a ton in high school. But it was a small town and you sort of know everybody. So I said yes. Hey, he came looking for me. Turns out he went looking for EVERYBODY. Suddenly he is friending every single person we went to school with (and more) and I panicked. I un-friended him. There, I confessed it. I panicked that EVERYONE I went to school with would suddenly find me via him and I wanted them to have to work a little harder. (irrational I realize because I am already friends on Facebook with about 4 other people who were (are) friends with EVERYBODY.
Okay, so here's where I just plow into this and disclose it all. So he friended me again. Damn, busted! I thought, "600+ friends, how in the world did he notice I went missing?"
I decided on a new tactic. I would be an ass and the next time HE would unfriend me. Whenever he would post a status, I would look for some smartass thing to say. He posted a status that said, "Without putting a whole lot of time coming up with the 'most impressive' answer - What are you thankful for?"
"My beautiful daughter"
"family"
"That I am saved by GRACE (God's Riches At Christ's Expense!)"
"Everything God has given me"
"I'm going with: family"
"the love of my life, my husband."
I'm certain those people meant what they said. And not all the comments were all like that. But remember, I had decided to be an ass and try to get unfriended. So I sat down and had my fingers poised to type, "gay sex". Then I remembered that this friend is a teacher and has lots of students as his friends. And did I really want to be THAT big a jerk? Instead I wrote:
"Sale at Gucci."
Not a jerk response, but certainly taking the piss out of all those other "holier than thou" comments. I went to bed satisfied that I would get some form of "tsk, tsk" in the morning.
Instead I got a personal email from him, " 'Sale at Gucci' - LMFAO : )"
Well shit.
So I have had to accept that people I went to school with are not actually the people I went to school with. I've changed and it appears possible that they could change as well. But now that I know who is thin and who is fat, I've seen all your photos of all your children, I know where you work and I know who you are sleeping with, what in the world do we have to catch up on from a reunion?
10 comments:
You said the "S" word 3 times actually...well done!
Surprising as it may be, some of us have grown up some since high school. I agree with you, if people can't accept you as YOU, then that's their problem. And I believe you went to church - as I recall, I went with you!!!
what a thoughtful, sensitive, lovely post. just like you.
what a thoughtful, sensitive, lovely post. just like you.
You think that was thoughtful and sensitive? I thought I was an ass.
that's funny!!! my reunion is in november at thanksgiving... yeah, like nobody had anything else to do that weekend, right? i really have no desire to see any of those people, i saw them 10 years ago and 60 from now would be fine... oh, and it's the 30th, i'll save you the math!!
So, are you going to post this link over on Facebook? ;-)
Jennifer and I had this discussion, actually. What will happen to reunions if we all find each other on facebook? I think seeing people in RL is still better. I mean, it's nice to know that the people who think you might not want to see are actually cool people to see.
And I'm with you. If they don't like what I post or who I am then F***'em. And besides, what's there not to love about you?
You mean a "sale at Gucci" isn't the same thing as "gay sex"?
Had an old friend from High School come into town with his teen age son. It was great to see him but I was surprised by how heavy he had gotten. Suddenly those 20 pounds I've added since high school don't seem so bad.
To Jason - Sale at Gucci = Foreplay?
I have never returned home for any class reunion. My thought is this: those folks made 4 or 5 years of my teen life a living Hell and NOW they want me to come back to revisit that bullshit?! No way.
Good post. My 30th class reunion is next month.
Post a Comment