Friday, October 23, 2009

Countdown to Costumes, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Halloween is coming in less than ten days! What to wear? Who to be? Where to go? It's all so complicated!!!
This is one of the first Halloweens that Lyle and I went out together. We went as "New Year's Eve". Such a lame yet fun costume. Wear a nice suit or tuxedo, take an empty (or full yet soon to be empty) bottle of champagne, and lots and lots of confetti.

We were at a party in Pullman Washington. Oh the horror. We went because we had promised a friend we would go visit him at college. His date was a DJ for a local radio station. We got free admission to a college town radio sponsored party. SHUDDER.

There was a set of "Miller Beer Girls" and I don't think it was a costume for them, I think they were working. Shorter than short outfit, higher than high hair. Every time they walked by we blew our horns, shouted "Happy New Year" and threw fistfulls of confetti at them. Our goal was to weigh down that hair until it fell flat.

After about 10 laps past us, four girls stopped dead in front of us.

"Hey, have you guys been throwing confetti at us all night!?"
Uh, no... we lied.
"Are you certain?" demanded the girls while pointing at the mound of confetti that surrounded our feet.
Oh, uh... um... sorry... We were SO BUSTED.
"So uh, do you guys wanna dance?" the lead girl asked Lyle as her second in command stepped towards me.

Well crap. I forgot this is how straight people flirt. Throw things at people you like. Torment those you are interested in. Small college town, straight bar, not my usual comfort zone... we were trapped and said, "I guess."

Our first dance was the ever popular "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton. I loathe that song. Then a slow song came on and Lyle and I were each drawn in closer by our dance partners. Aside from being freaked out that a Miller Girl was touching me, I found the whole scene surreal and hilarious. Whether you believe in God or not, you'll have to admit my prayers were answered when suddenly the music came to a screeching halt. The power had been overloaded and they blew a fuse. Before anyone could make a different suggestion (like, "you wanna go outside?") I blurted, "Well, I guess I should get back to my friends," and bolted to the bar. Lyle followed right behind me.

Lessons learned:
1.) Don't throw confetti at the same people all night.
2.) Remember during introductions to college girls that key phrase, "I'm gay."


Carolyn said...

You're gay?? Great. I was going to ask you to dance.... (That's straight-girl talk for "let's make out")

Margaret said...

Uh oh...if you say "I'm gay" to a half-drunk (or fully drunk) college girl, isn't that kinda like a challenge. Like maybe SHE would be the one to "change you"? I'm just sayin'.

Cheryl said...

You guys are hilarious. It's been so long since I've been to a bar I forgot the rules. Thanks for reminding me.