Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Produce(d)

It seems like just yesterday we were talking about a giant zucchini... After keen detective work we added up the facts and discovered who was on the counter gnawing at the giant gourd.

Lola is completely motivated by food.
Cooper is motivated by toys and the outside world.

Lola is never satisfied with her portions.
Cooper sometimes turns food down.

Lola does not often get caught up on counters.
Cooper is often told to get down.

Lola had a full belly when we got home.
Cooper had a normal belly when we got home.

Lola had green stuff around her mouth.
Cooper's mouth was normal and smelly.

Lola can be quite vindictive.
Cooper is not that clever.

Judgement: It was Lola who got on the counter and ate at the side of the zucchini!
Lola surveys the world and all its food which clearly belongs to her and her alone.

But Jim, you ask, what happened to the zucchini AFTER all that? It went into the fridge and didn't want to fit. We had to clear an entire shelf to fit it inside. After two days, I thought I really must do something with it before it goes bad. First I cut off the gnawed on bits, then I got out the food processor and began to grate, testing the limits of my Cuisinart. After grating all I could, I morphed into a mad scientist measuring, sifting, and creating certain chaos in the kitchen.

Lyle had come home earlier with a headache and gone to bed. I grated and cooked, grated and cooked, spilled a bunch then grated and cooked. I used up all the flour in the house and was forced to access the backstock. Next went all the sugar, all the canola oil, all the cocoa powder and all the milk chocolate, white chocolate and butterscotch chips we had in the house. There was no backstock on these items, sadly that is what finally forced me to stop. I left behind 4 eggs. I used up every cake pan I could find in the house.

I cleaned up the kitchen. Stacked all my baking on the stove and counter near the stove. Fed the dogs and sent them out to potty. Checking my watch I was now going to be 5 minutes late for the gym.

I told Lyle I was headed out to the gym and there was a gate across the kitchen door. "No dogs in the kitchen," I told him, "I didn't have time to bake the cakes. I'll do it when I get home."

I thought he might stay in bed, but while at the gym I received this text message from Lyle,

"Are you INSANE?"


Ah-ha, he had made it to the kitchen.

So from giant gnawed on zucchini I was able to create all this:
(Click on photo to see it in all it's glory)
From the left; small cake of leftover batter, Tupperware container of leftover grated zucchini, two chocolate cakes, a white chocolate cake, a butterscotch cake (sampled for quality control) and 24 cupcakes.

I sent three cakes away in the morning. One even went to our gracious patron saint of zucchini, Farmer Dean.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering about the tomatoes, here are a few layered with buffalo mozzarella, sprinkled with red Hawaiian sea salt, a drizzle of olive oil then topped with basil.

7 comments:

Rachel said...

You ARE a mad food scientist!

The T-Dude said...

The cheese and tomato dish is lovely. Carolyn is going to drool over that when she sees it.

Christopher said...

You have got some serious skills, yo!

Silly Billy said...

When is dinner? I'll bring drinks.

Anonymous said...

That had me laughing and my mouth watering!

Carolyn said...

I never really understood the whole "zucchini cake" thing. I mean, it's a vegetable, right? Why would you put it in a cake? I am sure that your cakes are fabulous, but I still think it's weird. Told you I wasn't a foodie. However, tomatoes and mozzarella...YUM. My favorite.
I love pictures of food.

Jim said...

I totally didn't get the whole veggie as dessert thing either. But as explained to me by the amazing cooking husband, the zucchini holds a LOT of moisture. And that makes for a very moist cake. Dense too. The cake, not me.