Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Hustlaball

There he is again, the tie guy. It's not about any sort of body type or that stuff, I just really appreciate the effort in dressing up whatever your uniform is.

The Hustlaball is a big gay party thrown in Berlin and Las Vegas. In Berlin all sorts of truly unprintable things allegedly take place. The Las Vegas party is like church camp in comparison. Seriously, Sin City? I've seen more daring things happen in a bar in Manhattan on a Tuesday.

But it's a well promoted party and it happens every year while we are in Las Vegas. And every year I think, Oh that looks like fun! And every year it all starts with this:

Lyle makes contacts through work and is promised free VIP tickets.
Tickets never arrive.
Lyle is told he will be on VIP list at front door.
There are 300 people trying to get in through a single file at the VIP entrance.
No one is moving.
I feel less than Very. Less than Important. I don't even feel like a People.
Finally in, (this year through shear force of will on Lyle's part) we make our way to the bar. Order two drinks each as the bar will soon be too crowded to get near (remember those 300 people still trying to get in after us).
Wait for the fun to begin.
Regular club opens to all non-VIPs and VIPs. Go over to other side for show.
Show is same go-go boys from VIP side.
Use VIP side for easy drink orders and no-line bathroom.
VIP side closes.
Try to get cab in freezing cold with no jacket because coat check is such a hassle I didn't bring my coat.

Best comebacks to 300 people trying to squeeze in:
"I'm a sponsor!" - Sir, right now everyone is a sponsor.
"I'm a VIP!" - Sir, right now everyone is a VIP.
"I'm a performer!" - Well, I guess you should have gotten here on time if your job is so important.

Me with fellow blogger Willam Belli who was hosting the show that night.
His blog is not generally for my mother.
Me and that Dirty Gay Pimp Johnny McGovern. I've loved him from afar since I saw his video for "Soccer Practice" about 3 or 4 years ago.



Due to the writer's strike, Bruce Villanch had nothing better to do than show up.

Johnny McGovern and the go-go boys.
Hey, there's my guy in his tie!

4 comments:

Silly Billy said...

Ok looks like a fun time, but I am SOOOOOOOOOO jealous you got to meet Jonny McGovern. So jealous. OMG, I would have talked Brit-Brit with him ALL freaking day.

Brandon Baker said...

The tie guy - I love it. That's Dallas Reeves. He's a cool guy.
My name is Brandon Baker and I am responsible for HustlaBall. I am sorry you had to wait to long and had such a rough time in the areas that are designed for VIP's. You can be assured that we are working out plans so that does not happen in the future.
I am glad you got to meet Jonny McGovern, he was a pleasure to deal with. He'll be hosting the Escort Awards as well.
Willam Belli has always been one of my favorites and I am so glad he was available for this event.
Please stay in touch at brandon@hustlaball.com and thank you for your time to tell us about your experience.

Jim said...

Hey Brandon, don't get me wrong... I still go every year. And I don't want to see what goes on at the Berlin Hustlaball (I've already been to one crazy party in Amsterdam).

You can bet I'll be there next year as well.

When are those escort awards again?

willam said...

it was nice to meet you there. i had no clue there were photos of me flashing on the screen while i was on stage. better a tranny than bruce. i think most were tuning us out though. we were sorta like the breadbasket at a table full of ladies who lunch. they just wanted their fucking entrees.